So I went to Dewey Beach, DE for Labor Day Weekend...

UN---be---lieveable. I cannot believe what whorish drunken mayhem goes on down there. Ugh. I wish I had stopped drinking long before this trip. I stopped Sunday. Forever. I think. I went down there and everyf'in body has to comment on my clothes. What did you expect me to look like? A runaway slave? I just do not care for the ratty t-shirt and torn off faded dirty jeans look, thank you. Dang! I need peace. I need my white house black market sunglasses back. This puny penis punjabi Pakistani pachyderm basically stole them from me. Fat bastard. I hate him.